emotion-less

I may appear a bit emotionless
It's how I am to face the world
From baggage that became my mess
Appearing from the day that I was born
My mind always taking flight like a kite
Soaring through the boundless skies 
If I woke up and asked myself, why?
Would my existence matter if I die?

The reality still came at me strong 
For any little thing I did was wrong 
Pouring of emotions so very raw
Not abiding by The House's Law 
The control held me to the last straw
From everything I did and clearly saw

If I was never this way...
Would I still be here today?
No, my soul would've gone away
There's no reason for me to stay.

The Light. It Has Always Been The Light.
His Light Planted In Me To Shine Bright.
For No Reason My Joy Spills over in Delight.
Where Does It Come From? It Saved My Life!

It's no longer needed in my life today
I have many reasons to live and stay
Praying has kept my demons at bay 
Seeking me out to destroy me everyday

I may appear a bit emotionless.
But there's content in me nonetheless.
You must be close to me to understand this.
I would be dead instead with nothing to miss.

This Mighty Soul By God's Grace is resilient
Given me Escapes into the Depths of Contentment
A Love of Life, Wonder, and All Things Beautiful 
I've never before in my life Felt this Full
Coming Out of the Darkness Fully Spiritual
My Future is Bright and I can't Wait To Take Flight
In The Boundless Sky Light Like A Boundless Kite.

Can It Be, Will It Be

The First Time Can It Be?
Loving Someone Who Sees Clearly
My Honesty, Sincerity, and Loyalty.
Giving Their Love Freely and Tenderly.
Feels Like An Unbelievable Dream 
I've Been Waiting For My Whole Life.

Finding Myself Chasing You Around
Dreaming With My Feet Off The Ground
Not Realizing Where I Will Land 
If Things Do Not Go As Planned 
Trusting It This Time. It Feels Right.
For Once A Lover Can See
How Irreplaceable I Can Be.
Finally, It Will Be Me.

Overcoming All The Doubt
Absorbed In The Obsession
Always Uncertain And Anxious 
Losing Myself Fully Wondering
Will It Finally Be Me?
Hopelessly Tirelessly Waiting 
This Time Never Disbelieving
In The Possibility  
Will It Finally Be Me?

Tell Me No, Not Again
What Is This Hesitation?
Can't Believe This Again
Making It This Far In Love
Letting Myself Get Lost 
In A Fantasy of My Mind
Had Me Believe In A Chance
Was Your Heart Never Mine?
Promising Me A Thousand Times
There's No One Else But Me

Your Words Are Feeling Cheap Now
Who Is The One Who Has You Now?
Female or Male Giving Themselves
To You Displaying False Love For Sale?
You're A Fool Who Doesn't Know What To Do!

Are You Questioning and Talking To Yourself? 
Is She Enough? Does She Have The Right Stuff?
Is She Classy? Or Is She Too Ballsy and Brassy?
Or Better Yet, To Silly, Lovable, And Affectionate? 
Your Loss My Friend, You're Too Stupid To See
How Little Substance You Possess To Be With Me.

I Was Dreamy And Too Busy 
Overcoming All The Doubt
Absorbed In The Obsession
Always Uncertain And Anxious 
Losing Myself Fully Wondering
Will It Finally Be Me?
Hopelessly Tirelessly Waiting 
This Time Never Disbelieving
In The Possibility  
Will It Finally Be Me?

How Many Times To Keep Going Through This?
Is There Anyone Out There Who Truly Needs Me?
Not For What I Can Do, But Just Me For Me?
Don't Feel Like Going Through This Anymore 
Finding Myself Chasing Around
Dreaming With Feet Off The Ground
Not Realizing Where I Will Land 
If Things Do Not Go As Planned 

Soon I Will Not Wonder, Can It Be Me?!?

Not Telling Me

Not Telling Me

Fearful and Young I Cast it Off
Chose Not To Think About It 
Allowing Time To Wear It Off 
Despite How It Pushed Me Away
Needing Your Love I Had To Stay 

Hurt with Despair I Always Prayed
One Day You Will See The Day
Not Telling Me Everything 
Hurt Me In Every Single Way

You're Not Telling Me Everything
I Will Never Know How Much
Days and Weeks. Months and Years
Days That Pass
Moments In A Flash
Weeks That Fly
Months That Go By.
Farewell and Goodbye.

With The Years There's No Surprise
There's Nothing I Can See or Touch
Can I Say I Ever Missed It That Much?
What Is Done Is Already Done
Before Sunset and The Rising Sun

You Are Saying Something
Keeping your lips tight. Your Lips Are Tight.
Your Mouth Is Sealed 
Keeping Secrets. Deliberately.
Everything Hidden. Intentionally.
Having Me Wonder What's The Deal.

Glassy Eyes with No Life
Emptiness Fills Up The Air
I Must Break This Silence
Standing In Front of You
I Can't Get Close 
You're The Only One 
I'm Needing the Most

Angry and Frustrated From Your Resistance 
Questions Unanswered After Persistence. 
Determination & Desperation To Find A Solution 
Giving Up. There Will Never Be Any Resolution. 

Waiting Cost Me Too Much Time
Patience Serves No Purpose 
When It Delivers Only Pain 
Hoping Time Would Prove Better
I'm Still Crying, I Don't Feel Better
Right Here This Is My Final Letter 
There's No Going Back To Yesterday.