Pen'D Poem : September 29 - October 5

I'm Jus Des...

Oh I'm pretty huh
You don't know me hun
Sometimes I feel so shitty son
Sometimes I wish my days were done

Oh u think I'm a great poet
My words make u smile
Ur comments and likes show it
Sometimes I wanna blow dis joint
Sometimes I feel y'all miss the point
I free my soul thru these heart wrenching words
Nouns pronouns adjectives and verbs
But sometimes it just don't work
Ya'heard
It just don't work

Ppl always think I'm the smart one
I'm so intelligent
Wisdom surpasses the length of years lived
But sometimes I just don't give a f*ck
Sometimes I wanna throw all my shit in a truck and run away til my legs get tired
Cuz life gets in the way of the enjoyment of wordplay
Sometimes I wanna stay
Keep trying
But as I write these words I can feel my spirit slowly dying
Brain frying in overload
And I get so tired of carrying this burdensome load
I be in bitch mode
Like this shit don't make no sense mode
And that's when I blaze and blow
Cause the smoke
Won't let me go
I toke
I choke
Then I flow

U think I have it all together
Cause its seems I've weathered many storms
But hell nah I ain't above the norm
I'm just a sinner who falls down repeatedly
Steadily awaiting The Creator to throw his hands up and give up on me
Lost cause
Then I pause
I do this shit
Cause it do what it does
Drains open up
Releasing my floods
I spit blood
I shed tears
Tried confronting my fear
Spent many years
Flinging sweat from my brow
Inhale
Exhale
Cheers and jeers
Ppl are flaky
Anyhow
Act like they love me
Deep down they hate me
Deep down inside
By no means mistake me
I really don't care
Except when I do

Let's talk about the truth
I f*ck up and still owe dues
Debts outstanding
And I been played and played others a fool
I break hella rules
I was cocaine's tool
She used me
Schooled me
On how to f*ck up and lose
Then I flipped a coin
Rolled a die
And I choose
Life
Except when I wanna die

High price
For justice to repay strife
For what was taken from me as a little 3, 4 and 5 year old baby
Shit crazy
I let it go
Or I thought I did
It still mentally enslaves me

So u see
Please don't strive to be like me
Compliments is cool
But u really don't know me
Ppl always come to me to vent
Or to ask for advice
Sometimes I wanna scream out
F*CK MY LIFE
I don't have all the answers
And shit who really does
But if u think I'm that girl
Who encompasses all of the above
Then, bless ur little heart
I owe it to u to keep doin my part
So I'll write
And write
And write....
CX

Desiree Luce Winston

 
 

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Thanks for sharing your thoughts with me, SP & many other fellow Poets out here who find peace with expression. Words are powerful and because you took the time to share your thoughts here remember you're making a difference. Use your Voice to give back to the world!
Much <3 SP